The observable examined

Archive for August 2010

Beautiful in repose!

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Lechini’s odyssey lasted a little over three and half years with progressively increasing levels of pain and suffering. She bore it with great dignity. As a caregiver, it was incredibly hard to watch. When the suffering did end, albeit at a very great cost, her sisters did an excellent job of preparing her for the final journey. Boy, she was so beautiful in repose! I miss you dearly, Lechini.


Written by asterix98

August 21, 2010 at 5:41 pm

reticent but witty!

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LR (her dad’s fond moniker), by nature, was not one very fond of strangers and extended company. But once in the comfort zone she was quite the wit, keeping people in her company, in splits, recalling comic scenes from movies with great facility or even creating original humor spontaneously.

I recall one such very recent incident in the hospital. It was June. Lechi was lying in bed recovering from various procedures to drain fluid from her lungs. She was in pain and had a PCR. Jaggi(my brother), Chubbi (her youngest sister), Mathangi (older sister) and maybe one other person was in the room including me. To pull Chubbi’s leg, my brother pointed to the portable commode and asked her why she wasn’t sitting down? Lechini came back spontaneously with “She was saving it for you!”.

Written by asterix98

August 21, 2010 at 5:14 pm

She was a fighter!

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The average heart rate for a marathon runner peaks at about 140 bpm and then settles at about 135 bpm during the course of  the race. Lechi was a very strong and determined woman. Her heart rate in the last eight months averaged around 110-120 bpm! Incredible indeed!!

Another incredible Lechi attribute was her capacity for being graceful in extreme pain. No tantrums. No bad moods. Nothing that would inconvenience her caregivers.

You have taught us all something about patience and perseverance, Lechini! I miss caring for you. I really miss you. I will always.

Written by asterix98

August 21, 2010 at 4:52 pm

A favorite song!

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Nirpadhuve nadappadhuve  by Subramanya Bharati

Nirpadhuve nadappadhuve parappadhuve(3)
Things that stand , walk…fly
NeengaL ellam soppanam thaano
are you but dreams and illusions?
Pala thotRa mayakkangaLo
Products of my thoughts and conceptions?
KaRpadhuve ketpadhuve karudhuvadhe
The learnt, the heard, the imagined
NeengaL ellam ardhamaiyaigaLo
are you half illusiory?
ummuL aazhndha poruLillaiyo
without any deep significance?
ummuL aazhndha poruLillaiyo

Oh Sky!
early sunlight!
Oh fallen tree!
Vaanagame ILaveyile maracharive(2)
NeengaL ellam kaanalin neero
are you all but a mirage?
Verum kaatchi pizhaithaano
just a display thing?

Ponadhellaam kanavinaipol
udaindhaezhundhe ponadhanaal
for, what I lost , was gone like a dream
Naanum or kanavo
am I too but a dream?
indha gnalamum(?) Poithaano
and is this insight a lie too?


Kaalamendre oru ninaivum
one memory, it’s called time
Kaatchi endru pala ninaivum
and another, called vision
Kolamum poigaLo
are all these appearances lies
andha gunangalum poigaLo(2)
and their qualities, are they lies too?
Kaanbadhellaam maraiyumendraal
because if everything you see would vanish eventually
Maraindhadhellaam kaanbamandro
I should, then, see everthing that has vanished
Naanum or kanavo
because I too am but a dream
Indha gnalamum(!) Poithaano
and this insight is illusory too.

Lechi used to listen to this song on our rides to the hospital. While the song is intrinsically so rich in meaning, it is also immensely poignant and carries very special significance for me . Lechini, at this stage, was contemplating life and death issues, as treatment options were slowly running out. While I never had a chance to discuss these issues with her (particularly death), primarily due to our cultural baggage preventing direct discussions of said topics, I can only imagine her struggling with these very deep questions. After the scattering at sea, I heard this song on our way back, I had to fight very hard to hold back my tears.

Written by asterix98

August 21, 2010 at 4:36 pm

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