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strange dream

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This past Sunday, I spent a lot of time, collating Lechi’s print photos (for scanning and creating digital images), from early childhood, through the time I acquired a digital camera (2002). It was very emotional, to say the least. It brought back a flood of memories (our trips to Carmel, Seattle, San Diego etc.,). Also, looking at her as a innocent little girl as well as an adolescent, time traveling, to think what was in store, in the years to come, choked me up. The unfairness ( who is the arbiter of what is fair?) of it all, was a little hard to swallow. {The next day, I was watching a slide show of the scanned images. Makat happened to walk in, stared at a few pictures and suddenly burst into tears!)

Later in the day, while driving, I was involuntarily thinking of something that I would have shared with Lechi (or it may have been a trip I wanted  to make to the mall together). Suddenly, it hit me like a ton of bricks, that she was, forever now but a memory, and that trip was not possible.  It left me drained.

That night, although tired, I had a lot of difficulty, falling asleep. At some point, I did. I had the strangest dream. I found myself in a temple. There was a Sivan shrine to the left and I can’t remember the diety on the right. I believe I was in an argument with Siva. I had expected the temple complex to be large with people milling around, but when I looked around, its extent was confined to a small area, and the doors of the temple were closed. It was semi-dark and I was alone. I panicked briefly and was then trying to figure out next steps, when I suddenly felt my whole body tighten in response to some very strong external force. I woke up right after and could’nt really tell if this was a real physical reaction or an imagined one……..

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Written by asterix98

January 26, 2011 at 7:00 am

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